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Thursday 3 October 2024
On this day of your life
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I believe God wants you to know ... ... that
disappointment is temporary. Only your thought about it is permanent. Change your mind
about what has disappointed you and you will change
your life. All disappointment is just Advantage,
looked at from the other side. You will not have
to think but a second to know exactly why you
received this message today. |
Healing Our Bodies (OM)
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Incorporating
human touch into our everyday lives is vital to the healing of our emotional
and physical selves. |
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At times, we might concentrate so much on
our spiritual lives that we overlook the wonders of being present in our
physical form. When we are more aware that our bodies are also important in
terms of our personal growth, we may find it easier to nurture them. One of
the most powerful ways to do this is through human touch. A loving,
comforting touch allows us to access the part of ourselves that yearns for a
sense of oneness with the world around us. Even simple forms of touch connect
us not just to our bodies but also to the energetic presence of other people. There are so many ways to incorporate touch
in our daily lives. One of the easiest is a heartfelt embrace. Just making a
point to hug someone on a daily basis and really feel each other’s energy can
strengthen the bonds that keep us together. Hugs help us heal any hurt or
upset we may have recently experienced by letting us release into the moment
of the embrace and realize that no matter what happens to us, we have someone
in our lives who supports and cares for us. Another nourishing form of touch is
massage. While we may think of massage as a luxury, it is actually an ancient
form of healing that enables us to open up our energetic pathways in order to
receive unlimited energy from the universe. It doesn’t matter whether it
comes from a loved one or a massage therapist. By giving ourselves the gift
of massage every once in a while, we are doing something healthy and
beneficial for our bodies. Massage helps our bodies activate their own
restorative powers, creating a wonderful way to engage fully in our own
healing. Letting ourselves take advantage of the healing nature of touch
creates space where we can truly live in and experience the world through our
bodies, allowing us to completely immerse ourselves in the loving sense of
joy and wonder that is our life. |
The Most Important Life Lesson I Want my Son to Learn.
{*Did you know you can write on Elephant? Here’s how—big changes: How to Write & Make Money or at least Be of Benefit on Elephant. ~ Waylon}
I keep thinking about the things that I want my son to know when he grows up.
He’s 13 months old now and every time I look at him I try to predict what he will look like or what physical features he will have as an adult.
I also try to imagine his personality type. Will he be quiet and reserved or the life of the party at home and among his friends?
Although I can’t be sure who he’ll turn out to be, I know that my job as a mother is to help him develop good character and values. I would like him to learn the importance of kindness, empathy, and respect. Telling the truth never goes out of fashion and taking responsibility is of utmost importance. When he’s 18, I would like to see the values we have taught him instilled in him.
I’m sure our own parents did the best they could with what they knew. However, sometimes I think about all the things that no one told us about when we were younger and ready to navigate life’s challenges.
The truth is we weren’t equipped with the right emotional and mental tools when we were exposed to new aspects of life and building our path into adulthood.
We had to learn from our own mistakes and try again and again. We had to gather the lessons and dissect them so we could determine the best path forward. I know my son will also learn from his own mistakes, and although I’ll always be his backbone, I know I can’t always protect him…but I can guide him.
Today I came across this post on Instagram:
View this post on Instagram
“Teach your child that someone not liking them, doesn’t mean they need to try harder or change who they are to gain approval. ‘It’s not our job to make others like us. It’s our job to like ourselves.'” ~ Christine Derengowski
I sighed when I read it. I paused for a few moments and mentally revisited my past that was filled with people-pleasing behaviors. Since I was a child, I was the good girl who always got good grades and gold stars. I was the good girl at home, at school…everywhere. I was the good girl because I wanted to be loved, accepted, respected.
Throughout the years, I had to reinvent myself many times so I could be loved, and sadly, I wasn’t always genuinely loved because fitting in was my sole priority.
I wish someone had told me that it was okay not to be liked. For me, being disliked meant failure. But now I understand that being disliked means that I’m true to myself and not everyone is going to like it. I want to teach my son that not everyone will resonate with him, and that’s okay.
He doesn’t need to change anything about himself for the sake of others. He doesn’t need to “try harder.”
And I know that this starts with me, here, at home. The love and self-confidence and validation that he might grow up seeking are my responsibility right now.
What I offer him today is going to shape how he views himself tomorrow.
Teaching him to like himself first will also help him to attract genuine friends and lovers. It will increase his confidence and self-esteem. When we have a positive view of ourselves, we feel capable. And that’s so beautiful.
~
author: Elyane Youssef
Image: Author's own
2 Facts that should Motivate us to Commit to our Inner Work Right Now.
{*Did you know you can write on Elephant? Here’s how—big changes: How to Write & Make Money or at least Be of Benefit on Elephant. ~ Waylon}
We don’t always take inner work seriously.
We are either too busy to care or we simply don’t know where to start. Either way, inner work sometimes seems too complicated.
What is inner work? How do I get there? How can it help me? I have asked myself these questions many times, and even though it has taken me a long time to grasp its importance, there are a few things that have motivated me to commit.
As a start, we need to understand what inner work is about if we wish to lead a happier, more peaceful life. Without truly acknowledging the essence of inner work, we can’t appropriately relate to ourselves and those around us.
The term inner work is pretty self-explanatory; it’s an inside job. It’s the work we personally do when we want to grow and gain insight into our behaviors, feelings, thoughts, and beliefs.
“If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place. Primary reality is within; secondary reality without.” ~ Eckhart Tolle
Since we have little control over our most life situations, we are likely to be triggered by others or unpleasant events. However, when we do the necessary inner work, we stop trying to change others or the difficult situations in our life that seem to be set in stone. Instead, we work on altering our own fixed ideas, habits, and behaviors to match our reality.
Inner work is about understanding that real happiness comes from within. So we nurture who we are from the inside and take command of our thoughts and emotions.
And, unlike what we might think, our inner work doesn’t stop somewhere. It’s full of revelations and perceptions. It’s full of ups and downs. It’s not linear, but it’s always constant. Although many of us acknowledge the importance of doing the inner work, not all of us know where to start so we can genuinely transform our life.
Mastering inner work and committing to it takes time and effort. We might even swing between old patterns and new ones for a while before we can truly release our emotional baggage.
From my own experience, there are two things that have motivated me to walk that path and stay on it:
1. Maintaining a healthy relationship with others.
2. Maintaining a healthy relationship with myself.
When we haven’t done our inner work, the relationship we have with ourselves and others take a hit, as they’re deeply interconnected. I have realized that if I can’t master my own actions and reactions, I can’t blame others or judge them for who they are. I can’t expect other people to cooperate when I keep reliving the same life, making the same choices, and overreacting all the time.
The fact that we need to maintain a healthy relationship with ourselves and the world should motivate us to look within every single day. We can read self-help books, practice meditation, take courses, travel, go on retreats, or try therapy. Any teaching that can help us to face our fears and wounds and be brave enough to heal them will be great.
When we grow psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually, we stop letting our ego rule our life. Our ego wants us to stay in the dark. So when we decide to heal, our unconscious patterns may rise to the surface, leaving our ego stranded.
Ask yourself today, for how long am I going to let my ego and wounds control my life? If we truly care about the connection we have with the world, we automatically prioritize our well-being and mental health.
Be brave, be vulnerable, and commit to your inner work.
Invest in you. It’s the best investment you can make.
~
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author: Elyane Youssef
Image: Vladimir Konoplev/Pexels
The “Died Suddenly Phenomenon” of an Overdose or Suicide.
{*Did you know you can write on Elephant? Here’s how—big changes: How to Write & Make Money or at least Be of Benefit on Elephant. ~ Waylon}
~
There have been many alcoholics in my family line.
We are now saying “substance use disorder,” as that sounds so much more sensitive, kind, and caring, but this was not the term I learned at an early age.
We live in a society that says it encourages understanding, compassion, empathy, non-discrimination, and a belief that those struggling need help. But often that is not how our loved ones with addiction and/or mental illness are treated.
Not in the hospital. Not in the media. And sadly, many times, not even behind closed doors in our own family.
You know this if you were a young child in this situation. Absorbing. Interpreting. Evaluating. No one sits you down and tells you not to ask questions or talk about these things. No one says it out loud, but you receive the message loud and clear. Keep these secrets at all costs. It is shameful. And you should never ask questions or talk about what goes on in our family.
And you may keep these things hidden for a very long time.
But shame and secrets keep everyone hiding. That shame and inability to tell the truth to friends, to family members, and most importantly, to themselves manifests itself into denial. And with denial, there will be no recovery.
You see my greatest friend, my younger brother, Brett, became another alcoholic branch on our family tree.
I saw him at his best, leaving rehab happy and healthy and as handsome as any movie star. And I saw him at his worst during his 12-year battle with addiction and mental illness. What remained a constant then and now is that I never, not once, loved him less nor had any shame for the often-unbelievable things that happened.
Sadly, my brother lost his brave battle in March 2012. He was only 39.
I think back now to when my brother passed away and I wrote his obituary. It’s what I now call the “died suddenly phenomenon” and if I could rewind I would proudly tell the truth. Just like the people who write, “Died in a motor vehicle accident.” “Lost their brave battle with cancer” or “Passed away peacefully in their sleep at 90 years young.”
My brother didn’t die suddenly. It was slow, painful, and excruciating, and it has left us all with enduring pain. But like me, often remaining family members don’t publish the truth: “Died from alcoholism.” “Died from a drug overdose.” “Died from suicide.” Do they believe the truth will ruin their loved one’s reputation? Perhaps. Or maybe there is a part of them that worries about their own.
My little nieces were only 6 and 13 when their beloved uncle died. Unlike many around me, I have spoken to them openly and honestly since that day. As they get older, talking more in-depth, being sensitive to how old they are at the time. Always with honesty, love, and without shame.
When my youngest niece was in grade 6, only 12 years old, she had to do an oral report on any topic, and she chose alcoholism. She was and continues to be as comfortable speaking about it as she is with the knowledge her grandmother passed away before she was born from breast cancer. Besides being overwhelmed with pride, I thought to myself, “I hope that teacher knows how brave that little girl is.”
Her sister, 19, got a big bold tattoo on her left arm of bear paws bearing Brett’s name. When people ask what it means, she answers kindly, lovingly and honestly, “That was my uncle who struggled with mental health and alcoholism and that took his own life.”
Children—when we talk to them, they can grow up to have no stigma or judgment toward those struggling through addiction and/or mental illness. And not when they are teenagers it is far too late. Start early, especially when addiction and mental illness such as anxiety or depression run in the family. These young children will not only grow up to be more aware but be more empathetic, kind, caring, and compassionate. They will become better doctors, nurses, therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, and journalists—those professions that have such an impact on others.
They will also become better parents, friends and neighbors—a gift to society, the community, and in our own families.
And they can carry knowledge to those family members who will come after us, so this no longer continues generation after generation in the way it so often does.
~
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author: Jodee Prouse
Image: Author's Own
Editor: Lisa Erickson
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