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We all have reacted in a way that was
less than ideal upon hearing bad news, or being unfairly criticized, or
being told something we did not want to hear. This makes sense because
when our emotions are triggered, they tend to take center stage, inhibiting
our ability to pause before we speak. We may feel compelled to release
the tension by expressing ourselves in some way, whether it’s yelling
back at the person yelling at us or rushing to deliver words of comfort
to a friend in trouble. However, there is much to be said for teaching
ourselves to pause and take a deep breath before we respond to the shocks
and insults that can come into our life.
For one thing, our initial response is
not always what’s best for us or for the other people involved. Reacting
to childish rage with childish rage will escalate the negativity in a
situation, further ensnaring us in an undesirable dynamic. Similarly, when
we react defensively or simply thoughtlessly, we often end up feeling
regret over our words or actions. In the end, we will save ourselves a
lot of pain if we learn to take a deep breath and really tune in to
ourselves and the other person before we respond. This doesn’t
necessarily mean we don’t say anything, although in some cases, that may
be the best option.
Some situations require a fairly
immediate response, but even just a moment of grounding ourselves before
we do so can help enormously. The next time you find yourself wanting to
react, try to pause, and in that pause, take a deep breath. Feel your
feet on the floor, the air on your skin, and listen for a response to
arise within you, rather than just going with the first thing that pops
into your head. You may find that in that moment, there is the potential
to move beyond reaction and into the more subtle and creative realm of
response, where something new can happen.
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