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Sometimes when we feel anger, it is
coming from a deep place that demands acknowledgment and expression. At
these times, it is important that we find healthy ways to honor our
anger, remembering how dangerous it is to repress it. However, anger also
can become a habit, our go-to emotion whenever things go wrong. Often
this is because, for whatever reason, we feel more comfortable expressing
anger than we do other emotions, like sadness. Perhaps getting angry
gives us the impression that we’ve done something about our problem. In
these cases, our habitual anger is inhibiting both our ability to express
our other emotions and to take action in our lives.
If it’s true that anger is functioning
this way in your life, the first thing you might want to try is to notice
when you get angry. You might begin to see a pattern of some kind. For
example, you might see that it is always your first response or that it
comes up a lot in one particular situation. If the pattern doesn’t become
clear right away, you could try journaling about when you get angry and
look for any underlying meaning. The good thing about keeping a journal
is that you can explore your anger more deeply in it — from examining who
in your family expressed a lot of anger to how you feel when you
encounter anger in others. This kind of awareness can be a formidable
agent of transformation.
Anger can be a powerful ally, since it
is filled with energy that we can harness and use to create change in the
world. It is one of the most cathartic emotions, and it can be a very
effective cleanser of the emotional system. However, when it becomes a habit,
it actually loses its power to transform and becomes an obstacle to
growth. Identifying the role anger plays in your life and restoring it to
its proper function can bring new energy and expansiveness to your
emotional life.
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