|
Heredity plays a role in almost all
human development, whether physical, mental, or emotional. We tend to
look like our parents and are subject to the same sensitivities they
have. We may even be predisposed to certain behaviors or preferences. As
we grow older, we become increasingly aware of the traits that exist
within us and their connection to our mothers and fathers. Our response
to this epiphany depends upon whether the inclinations, tendencies, and
penchants we inherited are acceptable in our eyes. We may honor some of
these shared traits, while rejecting others. However, there is no law of
nature, no ethereal connection between parents and children, that states
that we must follow in their footsteps. Each of us is free to become
whoever we wish to be.
When we accept that our parents are
human beings in possession of both human graces and human failings, we
begin to regard them as distinct individuals. And by granting mothers and
fathers personhood in our minds, we come to realize that we are also autonomous
people and in no way destined to become our relations. While we may have
involuntarily integrated some of our parents’ mannerisms or habits into
our own lives, conscious self-examination will provide us with a means to
identify these and work past them if we so desire. We can then
unreservedly honor and emulate those aspects of our mothers and fathers
that we admire without becoming carbon copies of them.
Though many of the tempers and
temperaments that define you are inherited, you control how they manifest
in your life. The patterns you have witnessed unfolding in the lives of
your parents need not be a part of your unique destiny. You can learn
from the decisions they made and choose not to indulge in the same vices.
Their habits need not become yours. But even as you forge your own path,
consider that your parents’ influence will continue to shape your life —
whether or not you follow in their footsteps.
|
No comments:
Post a Comment