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When we really examine our fears about
something, we sometimes notice that the fear we have is not based on our
own experience. Often, if we trace our fear back to its source, we find
that one of our parents may have handed it down to us. For example, your
mother or father may have had an intense fear about the lack of money,
stemming from their own life experiences. If that fear was not resolved
by the time you came into the picture, chances are you inherited it.
Meanwhile, you may have no actual experience with this issue, so being
fearful doesn’t make sense. It may even block you from doing certain
things you want to do.
Keeping in mind that your parents were
only trying to protect you and that most of the errors in judgment they
made were made with the best intentions, it might be time to release this
fear symbolically. You cannot resolve someone else’s fear for them, but
you can decide to let go of it on your own behalf. Whether your parents
are still alive or not, it is best to do this in a symbolic way, using
visualization and, if you like, a ritual. One simple visualization
involves inviting your parent to sit across from you in your heart space
and sharing your desire to move on from this fear. Let them know that you
will not carry it anymore. You may be surprised at the response you get
because it’s possible they will be grateful and proud of you and your
courage.
The more we do this deep inner work
with our fears, the better we will be able to parent our own children
without burdening them with fears that don’t belong to them. Some of us
will do much of this work before we become parents, while others will be
working on this even as our children become adults. Either way, the
effects will be felt. Once we break our ties to the fears of the past,
our children’s ties to those fears are greatly weakened. It’s important
to remember that it’s never too late.
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