The picture-perfect image of Christmas often conjures up a dreamy scene:
a happy family gathered in a beautifully decorated home, sharing smiles and clinking glasses of bubbly, surrounded by glittering ornaments and a sea of perfectly wrapped gifts. Mum is baking cookies and building gingerbread houses with the kids…a lovely vision, isn’t it?
But let’s be honest—this season can feel far from that idealised image.
The pressure to give presents, spend money during a time when many are financially stretched, and create magical memories for the kids can weigh heavily. Baking gingerbread houses, taking Santa photos, attending countless year-end parties, and sending cards to every relative—all while juggling family dynamics and resurfacing old tensions—can feel overwhelming. Or perhaps you’re far from loved ones, feeling lonely, or missing someone dear. Maybe your holidays are quieter, and while it seems like everyone else is basking in festive cheer, you find yourself feeling disconnected.
The holiday season can sometimes feel exhausting or isolating.
For me, Christmas is always a bittersweet time.
I love seeing the light in my kids’ eyes and enjoying summer days with my husband in Australia. The beach and a break from work bring a sense of renewal. Yet, I miss my family in France and the U.S., and the distance leaves me feeling sad and disconnected. This year, I also felt the weight of societal expectations more acutely, as a reduction in income meant I couldn’t buy gifts for everyone or fulfill every item on my kids’ wish lists. My Christmas tree is a hand-me-down, and my decorations are minimal—truth be told, I’ve never been great at decorating. Watching social media posts of “perfect mums” baking cookies and creating Pinterest-worthy holiday moments made me wonder if I was doing enough to create magic for my children.
On 11 December, feeling the pressure of not doing enough, I dashed to the shop and put together a very-belated advent calendar. It was a haphazard attempt, but my kids laughed, and they loved it. That moment stopped me in my tracks. It reminded me to pause…and breathe.
Is all of this really what matters?
I’ve come to realise that what truly matters is how I show up for the people around me: my kids, my husband, my friends, and my clients. The magic isn’t in perfect gifts or decorations; it’s in being present and engaged in the moment.
Perfectionism is a thief of joy. The pressure to make everything “perfect” distracts us from what truly matters.
My (mostly) joyful presence, love, and the time spent playing games with my family are the gifts that truly count. The memories we create together—whether on nature walks or during simple family trips—hold far more meaning than any societal “shoulds” dictating what holidays are supposed to look like.
And this doesn’t mean I’m always happy or that everything is perfect. Life has its ups and downs. It’s about being present with what’s true for me in the moment, honouring my emotions and the people around me.
This is how I believe we create lasting memories—through presence. Only in a state of presence can joy find its way in. Presence invites gratitude.
So, this year, I’m letting go. I’m choosing a perfectly imperfect Christmas.
Society has constructed narratives about many things—holidays, motherhood, womanhood—but the truth is, there’s no single “right way” to celebrate, to parent, or to live. As we step into this season, let’s keep a broader perspective. Amid the joys and pressures of tradition, let’s not lose sight of what truly matters—being together, releasing resentment, and choosing love.
Navigating the Holiday Season with Presence
As a coach and yoga teacher, I remind myself that holidays, like many societal expectations, are constructs. The pressures we feel are manufactured. The beauty of this time lies in our ability to redefine it in a way that aligns with what truly matters to us.
Here are my tips for keeping your cool, managing time and finances, and avoiding the stress of holiday expectations:
Challenge the “Shoulds”
>> Recognise that you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. You have the power to choose.
>> Tight budget? Consider alternatives like Secret Santa, thrifted finds, or handmade gifts. This year, I’m gifting a few yoga lessons to family members.
>> Decorations? Skip the Instagram-worthy pressure. Too busy to bake cookies or build gingerbread houses? Create memories in other ways—play games, go for a walk, or simply be present.
Perfectionism steals joy. Let go and define your festive season from your heart.
Navigate Family Dynamics
>> You don’t have to attend every gathering. Ask yourself why you feel obligated—is it to avoid conflict or because you fear judgement? Challenge these thoughts.
>> Saying no doesn’t diminish your worth. Your time and energy matter, and you deserve love and respect.
>> Expressing your needs can feel difficult, but it’s courageous and necessary. What’s the cost of not honouring your truth? What impact does it have on you and those around you?
If you say yes to a gathering, commit to being present. Resentment serves no one. And if you can’t show up authentically, choose the discomfort of saying no over the bitterness of saying yes.
A Vision for the Season
Visualisation is a powerful tool for transformation. This holiday season, envision a life that flows with ease. Be what you want to feel.
>> See yourself setting boundaries confidently, saying no when necessary, and cultivating joy and peace.
>> Witness the ripple effect of your state of being on those around you.
For me, this season is about giving and compassion. While I celebrate with my family, I’m mindful of those who are struggling. This awareness shifted my energy, leading me to take meaningful action—going through my kids’ toys to donate to families in need. It’s not about the size of the gesture but about realigning with what this season truly means to me.
This shift has opened my heart, and it feels good.
As we enter this holiday season, I invite you to release the weight of “shoulds” and instead, tune in to what feels right for you. It’s easy to get caught up in expectations, but the real invitation is to define what matters most—and do that.
May your holiday season be filled with authentic presence, peace, and the power of love.
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