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I wish someone had introduced me to the stress relief practice known as tapping decades ago.
I can only imagine what my life would have been like if I had known there was a tool out there that I could use to gain control over both emotional and physical stress.
Stress has been a constant companion of mine for so much of my life, and I think a lot of it stems from perfectionism.
Growing up, I tried to be perfect at everything—the perfect student, the perfect daughter, the perfect sister, the perfect trumpet player in the high school marching band, the perfect student in ballet class. Perfect, perfect, perfect.
Of course, that wasn’t possible and so it is no surprise, looking back, that I was always under tremendous pressure and constantly feeling anxious and stressed out.
This caused a lot of fear, worry, and frustration, along with low self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-doubt, which eventually led me to start meeting with a therapist back in college. I have since met with several different therapists off and on over the years, but I always felt like something was missing from my counseling sessions.
I know that countless people have benefited greatly from seeing a traditional therapist, so I do not want to disparage therapy or discourage anyone from seeking out professional help. But I can say, at least for me, that what I needed were concrete tools to help me find relief from the constant stress I felt—the fear that I wasn’t good enough, that I was being judged and misunderstood, that I couldn’t be myself, that I wasn’t loved, that I was a disappointment.
All of these feelings, many of which I didn’t even consciously know I was feeling, held so much power over me, which continued well into adulthood.
That was until the summer of 2023, when I stumbled across tapping, known as Emotional Freedom Technique, and discovered that I didn’t have to be a victim. There was a technique—in fact, a few—that could help me get my power back.
Full disclosure: I had read a little bit about tapping seven years prior, and unfortunately, at the time, I was not open to it. It seemed a little too “woo-woo” for me.
But when I began reading about it the second time around, I was ready and the concept resonated deeply with me. I discovered that tapping is science-based, which was important for me. In fact, there have been about 120 clinical studies conducted that show that tapping is effective in lowering everyday stress as well as addressing the most serious childhood traumas and everything in between, even phobias, food cravings, and PTSD symptoms.
It’s called tapping because you tap on pressure points using your fingers, specifically nine points on your upper body and face. The nine points are the side of the hand, the top of the head, the beginning of the eyebrow, the side of the eye, under the eye, under the nose, two inches under the collarbone, and four inches under the arm. Tapping on all nine points is considered one round of tapping. I do as many rounds as needed, depending on how much stress I am feeling.
Don’t be fooled by the simplicity of the technique. When we tap, we are sending a calming message to our brain, which then lowers any emotional intensity we might be feeling, whether it’s fear, anger, anxiety, shame, an inability to forgive, or any other emotion that has a hold on us.
Tapping helped me feel so empowered that I became certified as a tapping practitioner in 2024. I also came across other modalities such as somatic tracking, self-compassion exercises, and havening. One modality led to another, like stepping stones. I didn’t know much about the mind-body connection, and so learning just how much our thoughts and emotions affect our health opened me up to a whole new world. I discovered that my emotions and the chronic pain I had been suffering from were deeply linked.
I am so grateful for tapping and how it has revealed many of the thought patterns that I struggle with and helped me release pent-up emotions. It sounds cliché, but tapping and other mind-body work gave me my life back. I feel hopeful. I feel strong. I feel free.
I am now an emotional wellness coach on a mission to help others learn tools that can help them break free of stress and limiting beliefs, so they can live more fully—-emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
If I’ve piqued your interested, here are a few ways you can begin tapping:
>> Tap in the morning to start your day. You can do so while praying or reciting a favorite affirmation or mantra. Or just do some deep breathing while you tap.
>> While taking a walk, tap on one or two points. You may not want to tap on all nine points in public, so choose one or two that you can tap on inconspicuously such as the side of your hand or under your collarbone.
>> Tap in the shower. Take a moment and tap a few rounds.
>> Before an important meeting or phone call, do some tapping. You can also incorporate tapping and deep breathing anytime you’re anxious, scared, or nervous.
>> Tap when you are waiting at your doctor’s office or in line at the grocery store. Again, you may not want to tap on all nine points in public, but you can choose one or two points.
>> Tap before bed to unwind or if you struggle with insomnia.
These are easy ways to get some quick relief. If you want to address a specific incident or event that is causing stress, or if the stress is due to trauma, it’s probably best to work with someone trained in tapping, especially if you are new to this modality.
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