I can understand totally how wondering if a narcissist has finished with you can haunt you.
And if we obsess about this, it can be very difficult to move on with our life.
Many people ask these things often…
- Will the narcissist try to hoover me?
- What does it mean when things suddenly go quiet?
- What should I make of the narcissist contacting me now after (insert the timeframe from days to years)?
- Could all the things that he or she did start up again?
So, how do you know if a narcissist is finished with you?
Or really is this even the right question for us to be asking?
Handing Our Power Away
I think a very important point to understand is that the question of whether a narcissist is finished with you doesn’t just apply when a toxic relationship is finished. When you are going through narcissistic abuse, often or even daily, you may wonder whether or not the narcissist is ‘finished with you’.
Let me explain…
You wonder if they are ‘finished’ with that bout of making your head spin or if there will be any reprieve from the lies, confusing behaviour, accusations, smearing and projections.
We all went through this – the clinging on; the trying to appease or minimalise their behaviour by us doing something different or lecturing and prescribing to them to try to get them to see sense and decency in amongst their nastiness and insanity … so that finally we could feel loved, safe and sane.
A powerful Quantum Truth of Life is: the more we try to control someone else in order to feel loved, safe and sane, the more we end up out of control and controlled by them.
And, even after the narcissist’s discharge of us or our trying to stay away and uphold No Contact, we can still be hooked into believing our ability to feel whole, safe and sane rests on their behaviour.
This is an illusion – it doesn’t.
When we are focused on what someone else is or isn’t doing in order to have our own inner solidness and Life, this is for a very important reason. Emotionally within we have unhealed parts that have assigned someone else to be our ‘Source’ of something. We feel dependent. We hope this person will stop what they are doing and instead grant us what we don’t yet know we are capable of generating ourselves (regardless of what they do or don’t do) – namely love, approval, security and survival (or all four). These are deep inner hooks we may not be aware of, even in the case of having no love or longing left for this person at all, yet still being hooked in by the nasty things they are doing to us. Or maybe we carry such guilt and obligation from our earlier programming that we can’t let go of trying to fix and help this person.
Wondering if a narcissist is finished with you, is such a common trap to fall into. However, I promise you that when you learn how to take your power back and heal the Thriver Way, you will know that your life is not reliant on what other people are or aren’t doing.
Trauma Is the Fuel
How can you stop wondering whether a narcissist is finished with you?
The answer is this: accept that the trauma of everything you have suffered and are suffering provides the grandest opportunity to turn inwards to heal yourself.
When you adopt the greatest mission of your life – to become a whole source of love, approval, security and survival – you won’t keep wondering if a narcissist is finished with you; you will be too focused on resolving and developing your own inner power.
Our consciousness is an incredibly powerful entity – an interconnected wave function that Quantum Science now knows is directly affecting our outer realities. I have said the following often in my blogs, YouTube videos and even in every response I grant to people looking for help…
The greatest understanding for your liberation, healing, and resurrection after narcissistic abuse is the Quantum Law of so within, so without.
If you can embrace that you are so powerful and magnificent that you affect The Field directly with your emotional resonance, then you know that to change your life you need to change your emotional resonance.
The goal of your entire life is to BE everything at an emotional level that you seek. Then you will be the person who chooses and engages with healthy people and situations, and easily distinguishes and leaves alone who and what isn’t good for you.
That is what taking your power back REALLY means.
I believe at the core of our spirit we are already whole. It is just the human experience collectively, generationally and through unconscious parenting created a pressure cooker of emotional trauma that we absorbed. And this causes dysregulation to our beliefs and subconscious wiring.
Trauma, when released, allows us to reset back to our organic, already existing inner coded wholeness – the knowing of Who We Are and How to BE in The Field.
How do we release our trauma to BE this?
Neuroscientists have proven that you can’t think and talk your way out of inner trauma; that you need to take your attention off your outer experience and into your inner experience to address it. By doing so you are in contact with and activate the areas of the brain and nervous system necessary to resolve your trauma.
Another startling thing happens when we do this – we create an inner relationship that puts us back in the driving seat of being our own Source. It means that we are so much less co-dependent on people providing for us what, as healthy whole adults, we need to generate ourselves.
Even before anything shifts, we start to feel the love, security, solidness and peace that ‘all is well’ in ourselves and our life, which we had always been searching for just in all the wrong places.
The truth is, as adults no one can provide us with this. We can only be-come whole and healthy emotionally and then share a healthy and whole life with healthy and whole others. When we ‘be’ it then ‘comes’ – that’s what be-come really means.
When we understand the Quantum Law of so within, so without, there is no option other than to be-come whole in the means of self-love, worth, security and survival – otherwise we don’t get people turning up to take care of this wholeness, rather they turn up representing the evidence that we are not yet whole.
If you are still questioning if the narcissist has finished with you, then you have not yet turned inwards to know and partake in the truth – your only true mission is to clean up within and then all you seek can and will follow.
Painful Beliefs to Up-level
Many of you lovely NARPers have expressed how much you are getting from my sharing of certain beliefs that we can heal for big evolution results.
If you know that you are still handing power away to the narcissist, even just by still thinking about him or her, you may want to check these beliefs and see if they can be felt in your body – meaning that the traumas generating these beliefs still exist there.
- This person can derail my life.
- This person can affect me.
- I am missing this person and I still feel like I need them or want them in my life.
- I need to be on guard because I am scared of what may happen or what I may do if this person contacts me.
Please know these are all incredible normal obsessions that we have when we are in No Contact with a narcissist – but they don’t serve us. They keep us stuck in a holding pattern of trauma and the victimised peptide addictions coursing and multiplying through our cellular being.
We don’t get well and we can’t seem to go forward in our life.
Here are some goal setting statements you may wish to use with the NARP Version 3 Goal Setting Module.
- I am solid in my body, truth and power, impervious to what others do or don’t do.
- I am my True Self with no need to change anyone’s behaviour or opinion towards me. My power lies in what I believe, am and do.
- I lovingly partner with and adore me eternally. Real love, power, and safety become my reality everywhere.
- I accept and release my triggers, fill with Light and keep evolving into grander, more abundant and joyful trajectories.
If you are determined to shift yourself on the inside into this level of personal evolution – I want you to write below, ‘By healing me – my True Self, Life and Love be-comes real’.
In the first group of belief systems above the narcissist is still living on inside of you, insidiously controlling, limiting and defining your life.
In the second group you are taking your power back by becoming the internal shift that you want your outer world to reflect.
Now let’s get to where this is REALLY all leading to.
Have YOU Finished With the Narcissist?
I love this question for a variety of reasons – the main one being that this is the real question you need to get very interested in.
Being finished with the narcissist means we are in No Contact and we are purging this person psychically, mentally, emotionally and physically out of our Being. We do this by addressing all the traumas they have triggered within us, releasing them and living free of them.
Then what we discover is that our inner unconscious programs were hooking us to these people. All our unfinished trauma histories in our beings, including collective, generational, past life and childhood traumas, are released and reprogrammed as well.
What this literally means is that energetically and emotionally we are no longer a match for this person. We are finished with a narcissist when they no longer mean anything to us.
The incredible irony is that when there is no longer any energetic energy to extract from us mentally, emotionally or psychically, then they are finished with us too – because there is NO narcissistic supply available for their efforts.
People may think this is just a grey rock thing. It’s not – it must be on so much of a deeper level than grey rock. Quantum Science now knows that consciousness is connected through unseen wave functions. And this means that the narcissist is getting a feed from you even if you have had twenty years of No Contact but are still stuck in the trauma of what happened to you.
That’s why a TOTAL emotional, subconscious and cellular detox needs to take place.
When we get very dedicated to our cellular trauma detox, this transition can start to happen more powerfully and quickly than we could have ever believed. Some people literally achieve it in weeks, even after decades of repeat trauma.
I really hope this blog has helped put all of your wonderings about knowing for sure if a narcissist has finished with you into deep Quantum perspective for you.
I’d love to help you achieve vital emotional and energetic detoxing, so you couldn’t care less if a narcissist is finished with you, because you are claiming your True Self and True Life with both hands – regardless of what he or she tries to do.
You can do this by signing up to my free inner transformational resources, which grant you two free ebooks, my 16-day free course, and a free workshop where you learn how to release your trauma and live free from it.
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