CoDA Weekly Reading

 Five Year Anniversary

Hi, I’m Nixie, and I’ve been dealing with codependency. I joined CoDA because my therapist suggested it, partly because of my ex-husband. But honestly, I stayed for myself! 

Five years ago, my brother saved my life in ways I can’t even begin to describe. Growing up it was like I was an only child because my brother and sister are 11 and 12 years older. My siblings didn’t always do things the way my mother wanted, so I became codependent at a young age. I was the people pleaser, the funny one, the dependable one, the happy one, the one who kept the peace, the fixer, and so much more. I wore many different hats. When you look at each of those things individually, it’s not so bad, but all together, it’s not the greatest. 

The one thing about CoDA is that I got to learn about myself. I learned how my life was unmanageable. I learned about red flags. How to let go and give it to God. Believing in something greater than myself. The things that would drive me crazy, just don’t anymore. Boundaries? Yeah, that was a big problem for me. Not only for me to set them, but also to respect other people’s boundaries. 

In my past, I based my self-worth on what people thought about me. In friendships and with my family, I was the one to keep it together. In my romantic relationships, I was a wife with no respect. I did get the ring, so to me, that was enough. No, that was me minimizing my worth to please my partner. I always settled for the bare minimum because I thought I wasn’t worthy. I have come to realize that I am not everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay. I now base relationships on matching people’s energy. I don’t take things personally. I don’t overthink things. It is what it is. I judge people on their actions, not their words. My life might not be perfect, but I’m happy. Thanks to CoDA I learned to live again. 

Nixie C.
05.28.2026