Discovering Myself
My
name is Jennifer, and I am codependent. I didn't realize that until two weeks
ago when my partner had a fit of rage. This time he tore a door off its hinges.
Seeing that and feeling that energy made me realize all my romantic
relationships looked exactly the same. I am and have been dating men that were
similar to my dad. Aloof. Loner-ish. Have some sort of substance abuse,
depression, or temperament issue.
Every.
Single. Relationship. I shunned men who were "too nice" as I thought
something was wrong with them. I have been going from relationship to relationship
seeking the approval, safety, and nurturing relationships I didn't get growing
up.
I
had a revelation. I saw the patterns. I saw the history. All of this in the
making to help me discover that I do not know myself. I have abandoned myself
to please others. Tiptoeing around others to make them happy and seeking
approval.
I
no longer want to live like that. I am new to CoDA. But I am determined to get
my life back. To feel the way I know I should feel.
Jennifer
- 03.25.2023
No comments:
Post a Comment