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When
somebody continues to open our old wounds on purpose, they must be told that
their behavior is no longer welcome. |
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We’ve all had our buttons pushed to the point where we feel we
can’t take it any more, and chances are, we’ve all pushed somebody else’s
buttons, with or without knowing it. The button pusher may not be conscious
of what they’re doing, but in the end the buttons belong to us, and we are
the ones who must deal with what comes up. The more we take responsibility
for our own feelings and reactions, the less tender these buttons will be. We’ve all had the experience of having someone snap at us,
seemingly out of nowhere. This happens when we unconsciously push a button in
someone else we didn’t even know was there. This can happen with a complete
stranger and sometimes with a person we’ve known and been close to for years.
We ourselves may have a relationship with someone whose buttons we secretly
like to push. Buttons are just soft spots that have been touched one too many
times, and they symbolize some pain that needs to be acknowledged and healed.
This may be a wound from childhood, or some recent trauma, that we haven’t
adequately tended. Whatever the case, when our buttons get pushed, the person
who most needs our attention and caring is us, and blaming the button pusher
only distracts us from finding a true resolution to our suffering. At the same time, if someone
continually opens our wounds so that they never have time to heal, we are
well within our rights to set a boundary with that person. Compulsive button
pushers, who seem to find pleasure or satisfaction in hurting us, are not
welcome in our personal space. In the end, knowing where our buttons are
enables us to do the work necessary to heal. Freedom comes when we deal with
the pain behind the button, thus disconnecting our automatic reaction to
being pushed. |
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