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With the final days of 2025 upon us, it’s a great time to reflect on the year that has been.
The year that in many ways and for so many people, kicked our ass.
Christmas has come and gone and the New Year is fast approaching. Some are feeling depleted. Some are feeling inspired. Some are feeling relieved to see the back of 2025. Other’s are licking their wounds. Some are moving toward 2026 with trepidation of experiencing another 2025. Some are grateful they survived. Some are proud of what they achieved. And others are excited of what is to come.
For me, 2026 has been a mix of all, but in many ways it has been an ass-kicking year. A reminder that rest, reflection, and change are crucial. 2025 was a preparation year, and I intend to put the lessons and growth to incredible use.
In my recent article 2025: The year that kicked our ass, I shared some learnings and reflections.
Here’s my list of things to focus on to help you kick ass in 2026:
1. Change. So often I hear people say “I’m too old to change” or “I can’t change,” and honestly, it’s a cop-out; it’s nothing but fear. Anyone and everyone can change if they want to. They can change careers if their career doesn’t align with who they are. They can change their relationship if they are not in an environment conducive to happiness. They can change their behaviours if those behaviours are problematic. They can change their attitude if their attitude is inhibiting deep connection. Whilst it’s true some situations may be difficult to change, we can always change how we react to them. And changing the past is impossible, but changing the present to create a better future is possible, if we really want to. What do you need to change?
2. Energy. I talk about energy a lot because it’s such an important component in how we connect to others, the world, and to ourselves. The energy we emit will directly impact what we receive. If we emit hostility, defensiveness, hate, or anger, we are going to get that straight back. If we walk around with a chip on our shoulder, thinking the world owes us, expecting others to tolerate poor behaviour, being judgemental, or desperate to control, we will remain miserable and connect with people who behave in the same way. Some energy can repulse us instantly and some energy draws us in to bathe in the warmth. Our energy will be a direct result of how we feel about ourselves. Choose your energy wisely in 2026.
3. Growth. Like change, some people will never grow because they are stuck in their hate, fear, and misery. Growth is about learning lessons and acknowledging our own unhealthy beliefs, behaviours, and patterns, then working on improving ourselves. It’s about prioritising our emotional health and working on the shadow side. Growth will never happen if we remain in our comfort zone; we need to step outside and challenge ourselves. It’s about listening with an open mind and a willingness to accept we may be wrong. Therapy is such a great tool to support growth and something I believe everyone should undertake. We should all aspire to grow, no matter our age or stage in life. Without growth we are stilted. How can you grow in 2026?
4. Inner Child. Some of you may scoff at this, but we all have an inner child. That younger version of ourselves that comes out of hiding when we are triggered. Some people have a traumatised inner child because they experienced horrific abuse and/or neglect and professional support is definitely recommended here. Some have a wounded inner child because some needs were not met or unfair and unrealistic expectations were placed on them, which were impossible to live up to, and some limited beliefs were formed that need to be changed. Most of us have something, even from the happiest of childhoods, because the reality is no parents are perfect. When we nurture that inner child, there can be beautiful healing and growth. What does your inner child need?
5. Truth. We live in a society that encourages fake. Social media has been a huge contributor to this, with the influx of coaches and influencers curating a completely fake online life. It’s sad that people think they need to do this and it all centres around wealth and greed as the barometer for success, when the reality is, most of these people are insecure, miserable, and live such a shallow life with few genuine connections, desperately searching for external validation to fill some void within them. The truth will really set you free. It will strip the masks away and leave you bare, allowing you to find your authentic self. It will make you question what it is you truly desire. It will connect you to your soul and guide you to your inner knowing. It will bring you a sense of peace. Without truth, all you have is lies. Pretense. Fake. What’s your truth and are you living it?
6. Happiness. The world is consumed in a desperate search for happiness. Searching externally for things to fulfil us, never accepting that nothing external can sustain that fullness. Not understanding that happiness must come from within if we are to live a contented life. Trying to find happiness in jobs, relationships, material things. Constantly discarding what we think is making us unhappy, only to discover the discontent is still there because the voids can only ever be temporarily satisfied by new shiny things. If we continually need to search, we need to identify what it is that’s missing within us; otherwise, we’ll be forever chasing that elusive happiness that can never be found externally. What internally makes you happy?
7. Emotional Regulation. I believe this is completely misunderstood. We live in a world that still sees women as overly emotional and weak, and men as strong and stoic. Conversely we also live in a world with increasing domestic violence, aggression, and male suicide, which depicts something completely different, and that is many men, statistically, struggle to emotionally regulate, as do some women, but again statistically, women are less likely to become aggressive, violent, or kill themselves. Stoic in many cases is simply burying and not dealing with emotions. This isn’t emotional regulation. Emotional regulation is managing emotions constructively, not suppressing them. It’s the ability to communicate what’s going on inside of us and seek support when needed. Without the ability to emotionally regulate, we become bitter, resentful, hateful, miserable, and sadly, our physical and mental health will eventually be impacted. Are you emotionally regulated?
8. Connection to Self. Human beings need connection, and we often confuse that with a need for romantic connection. We are conditioned to believe we aren’t whole without a partner. It’s the biggest lie we are sold and keeps people in a cycle of unhealthy relationships. Romantic relationships are beautiful, but they aren’t a necessity. We need human connection, but we also need to be connected to nature and the world around us. Most of all we need to be connected to ourselves. We need to know who we are at the core and what we desire. We need self-awareness to recognise how our behaviour affects others. We need to understand our triggers and what makes us feel and react in certain ways. Connecting to yourself can be challenging because sometimes it’s uncomfortable, and we don’t want to face the discomfort, but it’s part of our growth, change, truth, and happiness. It’s how we become whole alone. And it allows us to form deeper connections with others. Are you deeply and honestly connected to yourself?
9. Confidence. What I’m talking about here is genuine self-belief. Not insecurity masquerading as ego. Real confidence starts with the ability to build connection. It’s the gift of positive communication. It’s the courage to stand for what you believe in and back yourself, without criticising or judging others. Confident people have no need to control, attack, or become defensive. Real confidence is staying in your own lane, focused on improving yourself and not worrying about what others may or may not be doing. It’s being unafraid of putting yourself out there, even if you fall, because real confidence doesn’t fear failure. Real confidence isn’t loud or outwardly competitive and it doesn’t need to tell others how good it is. It’s quiet and subtle. It shines all by itself because of its unwavering self-belief. Are you confident?
10. Courage. Following confidence is the ever-important courage. I’m not talking about bravado. Or that boastful bullsh*t. I’m talking about real courage. The courage someone with severe depression has when they survive another day. The courage of someone walking away from an unhealthy relationship or space that’s no longer conducive to happiness. The courage to face another day in the midst of gut-wrenching grief. The courage of someone battling serious illness. The courage to step off the ledge of your comfort zone into the unknown. The courage to admit you’re wrong and fall on your sword. The courage to acknowledge your faults and toxicity, because we all have some. The courage to live in alignment with who you are. The courage to change your life. When you have the courage to follow your soul, magic happens. How courageous are you?
I know, it’s a little different to the “goal setting” lists for success you so often see. But the truth is no amount of goal setting is going to bring true happiness without addressing what needs to be addressed. If you fear change, you will continually sabotage change and remain stuck. If you don’t understand energy, your energy and the energy of others, you will stagnate. If you’re unwilling to work on yourself, heal what needs healing, and continue to do the work and learn the lessons, you will never grow. If you don’t believe in the inner child or fear looking at the inner child within, you will never understand your triggers or limiting beliefs and will continue old patterns.
If you refuse to see your truth and the truth, you will continue to live a lie. If you continue to search for happiness externally, you will never be happy or fulfilled. If you don’t learn to emotionally regulate and continue to suppress, distract, and bury, you’ll become a ticking time bomb. If you can’t connect to yourself, you’ll never be able to deeply connect with others and will feel forever lost and lonely. And if you don’t build some genuine confidence and courage, you’ll never be fully free or aligned to your authentic self.
Anyone can make a list of goals and some will even achieve them. But if those goals are material or focus on our external body only, we will never achieve the heights and inner contentment we all dream of.
How many famous and wealthy people are unhappy? How many people lose weight and get fit but find they are still miserable?
Our external world can look fabulous, but internally we are a mess. But if our internal world is healthy and happy, it doesn’t matter what’s going on externally because we have everything within us.
Make 2026 your year to work on those parts of yourself that need the attention so that you can kick ass.
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