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There is this myth.
The myth of the perfect woman, the worthy woman, the good enough woman that most of us are raised to believe in.
This “good enough” perfect woman is the one who always adjusts, always compromises, never raises her voice, pleases everyone, makes sure she is always there, always available. She keeps pushing herself even when she is completely exhausted and burnt out. She keeps nurturing even when her soul is completely empty and devoid of any fuel for her own self.
This is the woman who is raised to be there for everybody else but never really for herself.
And why is that?
Because women were not always like this.
If you go back in time, there was a time when women were awakened, liberated, powerful, intuitive, free to make choices. There was a time when the feminine wasn’t apologetic or contained. There were cultures where women held spiritual, social, and symbolic power as priestesses, healers, and wisdom keepers. The feminine was once associated with intuition, cycles, creation, and authority, not apology or containment. Over time, with the rise of patriarchal systems, this power was gradually controlled, suppressed, and reshaped. But at some point, someone realised that the power of the feminine was too much. She was perhaps too wild, too intuitive. Thus, too uncontrollable, and so it needed to be contained, and that is where the myth of the “perfect woman” was born.
It began with women being constantly told that something about them was wrong. That she’s “not perfect enough,” “not good enough.” She’s too much of this and not enough of that. Perhaps she’s too emotional, too loud, ambitious, sexual, opinionated, needy, and so on. And the more women received these messages, the more they tried to overpower them, not by questioning the system, but by trying to prove themselves within it. Every day, I hear statements like “if I try harder,” “if I please more,” “if I adjust better,” “if I become smaller, softer, more acceptable,” then someday, someone will finally say, “Oh, she’s perfect, amazing, good enough!”
And then there will be a happily ever after.
But there is no happily ever after because this is a chase for something that doesn’t actually exist. The system created this myth and continues to perpetuate it because it keeps women trapped in self-doubt, self-surveillance, and abandonment.
We see this everywhere. Pick up Bridgerton for instance (which I love by the way!) or look at centuries of cultural conditioning across societies. Look around you, even today, in the age of AI and supposed “progress.” This pattern hasn’t disappeared. It has just become more subtle.
I’ve been prey to it too.
And every single day, I sit across women who are exhausted from trying to prove to the world that they are good enough daughters, mothers, partners, colleagues; good enough for that promotion; good enough to be liked, loved, chosen, desired. Women who are literally, metaphorically, and sometimes physically beating themselves into shape to fit a mould that does not exist.
And what do we have at the end of all this?
A wounded woman and a wounded feminine.
So, what does this wounded feminine actually look like?
A wounded feminine is a woman operating from feminine energy that has been shaped by fear, conditioning, and survival rather than truth and choice. The wounded feminine often looks like someone who’s:
>> Constantly seeking validation, approval, and reassurance
>> People-pleasing even at the cost of self-respect
>> Suppressing anger, needs, desire, and voice
>> Over-giving and over-functioning in relationships
>> Confusing sacrifice with love
>> Feeling guilty for choosing herself
>> Believing her worth must be earned
>> Staying silent to keep the peace
>> Being emotionally available to everyone except herself
And the wounded feminine is tired of carrying centuries of conditioning on her nervous system and perhaps that’s something that is changing. Slowly, something is shifting.
Women are questioning marriages, motherhood, traditional roles. Questioning the idea that dependence equals safety. Questioning why choice was taken away from them in the first place.
Women are choosing differently, and yes, it’s uncomfortable for families, systems, and society. I recently saw some videos of JLo’s concert, and she mentioned during one of her performances how people are trolling her for how she’s dressing up, and I loved what she said. She said that if you had a booty like this at 50, you’d be naked too! And that was awesome. I’m sure it made a lot of people uncomfortable.
But this discomfort is necessary. This is where the movement from the wounded feminine to the healed or divine feminine begins.
The healed feminine is not a rebellion. She is not anti-men, family, or tradition.
She is self-aligned.
The healed feminine understands that empowerment is not about making the “right” or “perfect” choice. It’s about making a choice that fits her.
She can dress up if she wants. She can soften if she wants. She can build a career, nurture. She can choose motherhood or not. She can choose partnership or solitude, and she knows that none of these choices define her worth. She doesn’t chase, she chooses—to stay where she’s nurtured, to walk away from where she’s not seen. She knows she belongs and home is where her heart feels safe, held, chosen, and loved. She loves herself—all of herself—the good, bad, chaotic, messy, everything!
The Healed / Divine Feminine is about a woman having:
>> Deep self-trust and inner authority
>> Comfort with choice, even imperfect ones
>> Clear boundaries without guilt
>> Expression without apology
>> Softness and strength coexisting
>> Emotional responsibility without self-abandonment
>> Desire without shame
>> Rest without justification
The healed feminine is about embodying the essence of being feminine—free, playful, curious, joyful, intuitive, and fully herself.
She doesn’t abandon herself to be chosen or shrink to stay safe. She knows that she doesn’t have to stifle her voice just to belong. She knows that her femininity is not something to earn, manage, or prove. It simply exists, and the shift from wounded to healed feminine doesn’t happen overnight. It happens quietly, in everyday moments. It begins when a woman starts listening to herself, says no without explaining, rests without guilt, speaks even though her voice shakes, and most importantly, when she stops asking for permission to live differently.
Embodying femininity is not about rejecting the world. It’s about rejecting the lie that a woman must lose herself to belong.
The divine feminine is not created by fighting harder. She is reclaimed by coming home to herself, to yourself dear woman.
And maybe that is the most radical thing a woman can do.
That is the most loving thing that you can do.
~
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