Monday, 18 January 2016

Quantum Realities And Healing From Narcissistic Abuse – Part 1

Written by Melanie Tonia Evans

This is my two-part article about Quantum Truths and the holographic nature of things.
I have been talking a lot lately on YouTube about these topics and people have been asking for a deeper conversation about them.
I think this is a really good thing because I believe the world is awakening to the understanding that ”there is more going on than meets the eye”. People are even starting to wonder whether there is “an unseen world”, or some sort of “consciousness” affecting everything.
You may or may not be one of these people.
Once upon a time I wasn’t – but for some time now I have been.
I think what is really important for all of us is to be open to new information instead of just poo- hooing it, simply because it is foreign, new or upsets the status quo of what we used to believe.
History has proven time and time again that colossally important paradigms that were believed as absolute truth can become completely outdated redundant beliefs. The belief that the world was flat, and that the earth was the centre of the solar system – which even led to people being put to death as heretics for opposing those beliefs initially – were just two of many of them.
For the purpose of this article let’s have an open mind and heart to explore the possibility that there is an unseen world and a consciousness that is affecting everything – and just because we can’t see “consciousness” with our physical eyes certainly does not mean it doesn’t exist.
Having stated this intention, please know in no shape or form is it my job to convince you of anything. I really have no preference one way or the other. My purpose and mission is to share the joy and expansion of life as I feel it, live it and love it to not just free you from the throes of narcissistic abuse, but offer you the most radiant life and True Self development possible.
This is simply an opportunity for you to join me here in this Quantum Orientation – that not only has worked for me, but for thousands of others. And in no way is it “right” or “wrong” if you don’t, because the ultimate responsibility I have is ONLY to my own soul and existence in order to live this myself.
And, identically, your choices can only be yours.
It is my desire within this article series to give you some great resources to do your own research. And this is important as I am not a scientist … rather I am a healer.
In this first of this two part series, if you are waiting for scientific proof, you will be disappointed. In this first part I am not offering it, what I am offering instead is a deeper feel into these truths and the understandings why so many of these truths are not tangibly and logically discerned.
In Part Two I will point you more towards actual scientific discoveries – which honestly I feel are nowhere near as important as lived experiences.
It is my intention in Part One now to have a conversation with your soul … one that offers you the opportunity to change your life beyond description, by going deeper into the reason and meaning of your existence and the existence of life itself.

Physical Proof of Quantum Realities

I have been having a very interesting conversation on my Facebook Page over the last two days with a gentleman named Kirk who is adamantly sceptical about Quantum Truths and healing practices.
This has been a wonderful dialogue and he has been a great sport – admitting that he is in a lot of pain over break ups and his mother dying, which has left him feeling very broken and depressed. He has also humbly and honestly expressed that he has major abandonment issues, and relationship addiction problems. Ultimately he is seeking relief from “someone” and “some method” but wants absolutely scientific proof that it works first.
Even though this man was on the “attack “– I felt compelled to answer him with this:
“Kirk, I know your mind is closed to anything other than absolute scientific evidence and “proof”. Could any scientist put your emotions of “abandonment” and “relationship addiction” under a microscope and give you scientific proof for their existence?
Kirk, a big struggle that you are having at the moment is you are trying to solve emotional problems with five sensory tangible solid logical “stuff” which does not even fall into the same level of truth. Emotions are childhood wounds – they never respond to logical adult answers. They response to emotional relief, love and healing.
Does a wounded five year old inside you, who suffered his painful childhood want the “scientists of the world” to help him feel safe, loved and whole? No way he does, he wants you to turn inwards, stop fighting people outside of you holding them responsible for proving to you “the right scientific formula” and for you to just start loving and healing him. Maybe that is why you are struggling, angry and not feeling better?”
Kirk replied … “Thanks Melanie!! Yes that makes sense and I realized that before, but my logical mind knows that it is only the power of belief/gullibility/placebo effect that makes it work, not whether it is true or not. But it just feels fake for me to pretend.”
This led me to type this response to him … “Kirk the truth is so what if it is placebo – what is real or not real? Do you think there is some governing body saying “that is REALLY real” … the truth is (as any Quantum Scientist will tell you) whatever is real is ONLY ever what you believe is!!
You are overcomplicating everything!! Truly why wait for the magical answer that may never come when you have the power to feel better and heal anyway?
Beliefs are the deal, always, and when we change them our reality shifts to match. If we believe people can’t be trusted – we get ripped off … If we believe we need proof – we always need proof?? See? Life and us together create the evidence that we are RIGHT! So it was only ever you being RIGHT Kirk, about whatever you decided you want to be right about!
Have a look at your life and peel it back and you will see the evidence of that in your life everywhere. You have not as yet experienced how your reality can and does shift 180 degrees away from old realities to new ones when you shift your beliefs. Believe you me there is life after and before and they bear NO resemblance. There is no other truth than that for any of us …
Do I know EXACTLY how that works in the unseen world – NO – I’m not Creation or God and don’t pretend to be. Have I lived it and consciously choose to live it every day and SEE the real results 100% consistently –YES! So my take on it is “placebo away” Kirk because you are making up the whole damn thing anyway, we all are!!
And pretend all you like, because it’s our imagination of emotionally becoming a state that creates the rest of all of us catching up and becoming it. How did anyone dream of being a pro baseballer and then was it! They deeply imagined it as a child, felt it and that was the traction that created the rest. Life in all its entirety is no different and that is the “powerful creative child inside” we kill off with logic. Heal him back to life Kirk and you will never look back.”
Kirk answered back wondering if it was even me dialoguing with him on Facebook, (jeepers!) – again admitting how sceptical he was … I than asked him permission to share our conversation here – which he agreed to wholeheartedly.
Good on you Kirk!
And you know what … I have loved this dialogue with Kirk, because I know his struggle and expression of what is going on for him is perfect timing for this article. It is totally relevant … because it may be exactly what is going on for you too.
Now to share with you my own journey regarding “belief” and “concrete evidence” (which I promise I will grant you resources to check out for yourself within this series). Ever since my breakdown with narcissistic abuse, I gave up on needing concrete logical proof because I started basing my life on how I felt inside myself, and the real life results that started showing up when I started working on my Inner Being.
In fact I found a great relief in dropping the mental need to know and categorise everything to the last degree – which is exactly how my life used to be. What I realised is all of my obsession, researching, asking, searching, trying to work out all the answers with everything outside of me and my endless second-guessing paled into insignificance as effectiveness when weighed against the truth that my gut and self-partnering created for me.
Finally, I had only one focus to work on – the answers inside me. The relief of that was bigger than words can express. Now I know we don’t need to understand all the intricate mechanics of the God Particle (Creation) in order to experience it working in our life.
These Quantum Laws can’t really be conceptualized logically, because our logical mind is too limited by the need to “rationalize” and “categorize” in a linear, sequential, factual way. These Laws and truth, in stark contrast, can only be deeply felt, lived and experienced through our emotional Infinite Being, which is multi-dimensional and therefore unlimited.
So for now, in Part One, let’s explore that.

What are Quantum Truths About?

There are many, many people who are awakening to the beliefs that our consciousness plays in dramatically with the consciousness of everything that surrounds us.
First of all we can ask “What does consciousness mean?”
The answer is this: our emotional state – which is comprised of our belief systems and where we are vibrating emotionally at any given time on any given topic.
This will always come back to our beliefs.
For example someone may have the beliefs that all men are cheaters because of experiencing this in her family of origin and then experiencing these patterns in her own adult relationships.
She fears (expects) every intimate partner to be adulterous, is paranoid about every new partner being unfaithful, and ironically keeps choosing unconsciously the cheating men that represent her father to try to replay her childhood differently.
These men are unconsciously familiar to her and therefore attractive to her and attracted to her, and she is stuck in the same pattern with, as yet, no way out.
Because she is unconscious to the deeper forces that are going on – the emotional traumas and programs in her subconscious – she thinks it is all happening “outside of her” and continually blames these men for the pain she suffers in relationships.
It could be said this woman is vibrating at a low level of consciousness with love relationships.
Another example would be a man who has done a lot of work on his original traumas where he used to control women.
He self-partnered with his emotions, confronted his “demons” and realised that he had felt powerless as a child to stop his mother abandoning him, and leaving him emotionally neglected.
As a result of confronting and healing these inner subconscious trauma wounds he was able to enter relationships granting his partners healthy space and no longer experienced the insecurity, anxiety and fury that used to engulf him and cause him to try to self-medicate these painful feelings by trying to control his love partners.
Once those wounds he experienced with his mother, many years ago, that used to generate those destructive emotions no longer existed inside him – all urge to control vanished.
It could be said this man is vibrating at a high level of consciousness within love relationships.
So to encapsulate the difference between “low” and “high” levels of consciousness, it is simply this:
Low equals (victim) – I don’t believe I am the source of my experience, and therefore don’t take responsibility for my emotions.
High equals (Quantum) – I believe that I am the source of my experience, and therefore take full personal responsibility for my emotions.
Another way to say it is – I am awake, or I am not awake to the deeper truth that will set me free.
The freedom always being within myself (the inside).
So once we start accepting Quantum Truths it is initially very confronting; first of all because we can’t physically see how the energy of consciousness interweaves with other energetic beings and things.
Even beyond this we are confronted – point blank – because all of a sudden we have to take responsibility.
If our energy is the generative Source of our experience we know there is no point trying to change and call out other people and things. We realise there is only one person to change – and this is ourselves.
Once we take on this mission and start doing the Quantum work, we recognise the Universes apart results we start having in our life. We clearly see all the futility we used to battle with when we tried to control other people and things in order to feel safe and whole.
It never worked.
We also start experiencing the power that comes back to us and the wholeness and freedom we start experiencing, as well as profound transformation not just with how we feel but with the real life results we experience,  generate, hook up with or not and start drawing into our experiences.
All because we focused first and foremost on becoming what we want to experience.
This level of empowered Quantum Living requires us to drop our defences – the judgements and projections we were taught to believe were necessary. They are not just unnecessary, they severely stunt our growth and development.
To “go Quantum” requires the necessary humility to admit that something needs to change within us. Naturally this is a very hard call for people determined to stay in victimisation and demonising the people who have hurt them.
There are also large groups of thought determined to call any Quantum Model “victim bashing”, which is incredulous when we see the pain and suffering continually generated on Abuse Forums where narcissists are continually focused on and “called out”.
This is akin to taking daily poison, expecting the narcissist to die and wondering why real lasting relief and release from the pain doesn’t occur.
Also, of course, the Quantum Model is often dismissed as some nebulous, mystical, etheric “out there” nonsense – yet the results of it are indisputable.
Here, as only one isolated example, is the Quantum Model that has allowed this community to create and experience unprecedented healing which no victim model does.
The reason for that? Because the Quantum Model allows us to know that we are no longer a victim of the world around us, and in fact we are a powerful creator who can become and generate the personal life and True Self expression we would dearly love to live and be.

Quantum Scientists Changing the Rules of Our World

I’ve talked many times about how I am a very big fan of people’s work such as Bruce Lipton, Joe Dispenza and Gregg Bradden – the scientists who are exposing brave new information that is revolutionising the science model of how we look at ourselves and how we look at our world.
This information is known as “Epigenetics”. This is a word to research and explore over the internet. More and more information, findings and experiments (many documented now) are completely obliterating the old science model – literally – just as the Copernican Model asserted a sun-centred solar system.
Therefore my recommendation is to do your research before you dismiss what I am purporting. 
What Epigenetics is doing is releasing us from old outdated paradigms and models physically, mentally and emotionally and granting us the faith and the belief and the knowing that we can take our power back and create ourselves anew.
These new findings explain how we are not stuck in old ways of being, or even old health predispositions. Now we no longer have to accept that just because our parents and grandparents had certain health, mental or emotional predispositions that we are doomed to them also – regardless of whether these are DNA health predispositions, or emotional conditional programming we received as a child.
Once we realise how much consciousness has to do with not only our own, but also our forebears levels of dis-ease, we no longer have to accept that we have to be a high candidate for any diminished state we are presently living, or believe we are stuck with.
In stark contrast what it does mean is that we can change ourselves in order to change our life – regardless of our history, or the levels of trauma we have suffered.
We can change our selves and our cells literally, and the ways we do this is not just through dietary and health habits. Primarily it is though our beliefs, our emotional state – the vibrational state we show up as in the world.
Two books by Bruce Lipton are a fantastic starting point if you want to understand this on a deeper level, as well as read about his scientific findings that shatter old paradigms. These books are The Biology of Belief and The Honeymoon Effect.  I thoroughly recommend reading both.

How Do Quantum Truths Relate to narcissistic Abuse

Our lives, emotions, mental capacities and ability to generate a healthy life are under siege as a result of being narcissistically abused. We become a diminished self trying to function, and often become so stripped and sick that we simply can’t go on “as normal” anymore.
There is no greater time and higher necessity to find the most powerful ways to change ourselves and change our lives than when in the midst of such trauma.
The victim model is not a Quantum model; instead it is a simplistic model of, “You did this to me, I am now destroyed and it is your fault”, and at first blush absolutely that is how it appeared to all of us.
We were good people trying to love sociopathic people who were hurting us immensely – and because of narcissistic abuse we lost pieces of ourselves, all self-respect, our mental, emotion and physical health, the ability to function and usually material security as well as people very dear to us.
And sadly, because of what happened to us we may find it nearly impossible to believe that we can resurrect our lives.
Myself, as well as so many others have / are living this experience. My own story was I had lost nearly everything around me and I was diagnosed with adrenal and psychotic breakdown as well as many other trauma conditions that were so severe I could apparently never be healed and would need three anti-psychotics to somehow live an existence of “diminished functioning”.
The world view was, “I was trashed, there was no way out of the dis-ease and medication that would mask my psychotic episodes and subdue my adrenals was the only hope.”
This was the victim model. There was no insight, healing, evolution and freedom in creating my own emancipation from abuse realities, or creating my organic True Self radiance within it.
Sadly this is the model that our world has been far too invested in –  this orientation – “Let’s cut it out, medicate it away, numb it, get it to shut up and pretend that we are okay.”
It’s a model of trying to get symptoms to disappear without ever addressing the real issues.
It’s a model of “let’s stay sick, alive and medicated … and never free of the reliance on the pharmaceutical / psychology system.”
It takes all of the power away from ourselves to heal ourselves – it is a model of dependency and powerlessness.
The reasons this goes on is because we aren’t taught that we have the power within our own consciousness to release and up-level our trauma (the cause), which will then reinstate our being to the wellbeing that it naturally knows how to produce without interference.
Then all symptoms disappear because there is no longer a cause generating them.
No pill or drug makes you better – what makes you better is becoming a source of consciousness within yourself that allows your body, mind and being to come back to centre, heal yourself and generate the wellbeing it was always designed to create – emotionally, mentally and physically.
So what goes wrong, and why has there been intervention that has messed up this natural wellbeing?
The toxicity of our lives is what has done the damage. And the greatest toxicity we can have is the toxicity within our own consciousness – which poisons every part of our life as fear, pain, blame, shame and judgement.
In the victim model we will always blame someone else for the state of our emotions.
In the Quantum Model, when we are determined to get well by raising our consciousness first and foremost, we take 100% responsibility to heal our own internal emotions regardless of who and how people hurt us.
We recognise that as children we were powerless but as adults we are not and if the trauma is in our body, it is ours –  regardless of how it got there and therefore is no other adult’s responsibility.
We do not subscribe to the powerlessness of holding other people responsible and waiting for them to fix it for us – especially as most unconscious abusers (who are in victim consciousness themselves) have no hope of healing themselves let alone us.
Today despite my diagnosis years ago, I am the most expanded, joyful, and free of fear I have ever been in my life. Because I continually find and up-level any traumas (which show up as negative emotion) from within my body – this state of wellbeing just gets more and more and more.
There is no blaming of anything or anyone outside me involved. If it is in my being – it is mine, and only I can claim it, shift it and transform it.
Does this mean I am to blame for what goes wrong in my life?
Not at all!!
It means rather than being at the whim of a life of “less than” choices being generated from unattended to trauma in my subconscious making me create “less than” choices, I now have the power to change first myself and then my life beyond description.
My healthy choices now create a life that is as healthy as my Inner Being.
The true reason why myself and so many others have healed the unthinkable and even “unhealable” is because we went Quantum.
We refused to believe “I AM this diagnosis”; rather we knew that the only reason we were in such a state of dis-ease was because we had trapped trauma in our bodies and that once we found and energetically released that trauma that we would return to natural wellbeing.
Hence why today myself and thousands of other people in this community are healthier and far more radiant and expanded than even way before being narcissistically abused – because whilst cleaning up the narcissistic abuse trauma in our bodies we also picked up, released and healed the original traumas that had unknowingly led us into narcissistic abuse.
Traumas that had been previously shutting us down, putting us into contraction and holding us back in many areas of our life.
Narcissistic abuse trauma is significant and it is so for a very powerful evolutionary reason. With narcissistic abuse, the trauma does not simply end when we are separated from the narcissist– even if the narcissist permanently exits our life and there is never any further contact or drama.
The trauma lives on inside us – until it is resolved – and that is independent of whether the narcissist continues abusing or not. Such a trauma is showing us something … that there is a much greater reality going on inside us than five sensory / solid / “real” stuff.
Can we go to a doctor and he / she perform an x-ray that states “You have 20 pounds of unresolved betrayal, devastation and emotional feelings of annihilation within you.”?
No! Of course not! But we feel it! Just because it can’t be physically x-rayed does not means it is NOT real. If you want to go Quantum this is what you need to accept – what you FEEL is going to be your truth. It is your beliefs, the state of your Inner Being and is the exact generation of your life – to the letter.
In fact “what shows up” physically is always the extension of what you really feel – deep inside you. No differently to the pro-baseballer becoming his dream that he felt inside him passionately as a child.
That is what you have to work on – your emotions.
And to work on your emotions you need to work on your deeply held beliefs.
The dramatic and life-halting experience of narcissistic abuse shows us POINT BLANK that what is going on in the unseen world (our emotions / consciousness) is powerful enough to affect our entire life.
If the unseen world was really nonsense – how can this be so?
The unseen world is far from nonsense.
Our emotions and beliefs are the complete basis of what we think, how we feel, how we behave, how we show up and who and what we generate life experiences with (which amounts to everything).
Therefore what this breakdown of our emotions is showing us is this: a signal to heal what we need to change in our consciousness / emotions in order to generate wellbeing in our life.
At the Quantum Level this is actually an invitation to access something deeper within self.
It is a true invitation to inwardly transform in order to start moving from Survival (how we were previously living in reaction trying to control everything around us) into Creation (living from a state of responding to unfold Life accordingly to our beingness).

Approaching Life in Quantum Ways

If we believe our consciousness is generating the wellbeing or otherwise of our lives we start thinking very differently about what is going to help us get well.
We stop trying to force things outside us to change, and we make it our highest mission to make the changes on the inside.
These become the real questions, “What is it inside me that is allowing this painful experience?” and “What are the unresolved wounds inside me that are co-generating this?”
If we are not emotionally whole, healed and free regarding certain topics we have “glitches” in our programming. This is a common issue in the human experience because we all have stuff! And we can ask ourselves, “Do we stay an unconscious victim, or do we go Quantum and choose to grow ourselves beyond these wounded experiences?”
I and so many people I know would not be here now if we had not gone Quantum.
To simplify what “going Quantum” really means … it means the understanding that there is no outside to combat, there is only the inside emotional traumas and painful beliefs to work on – which means not pointing the finger at, yelling out about narcissists and trying to get them exposed and eradicated whilst staying deranged, angry and intensely victimised.
You can’t get well by pointing the finger and being a victim. No-one does. I have never seen that work once in all the thousands of cases of narcissistic abuse recovery I have been involved in.
And the real reason is this – every moment that you keep coursing the negative toxic emotions of judgement and blame through your being, is a moment that you are denying yourself your own self-partnering, love, healing and emancipation from your own wounds.
Not only is this an act denying yourself your own love, it is also continually adding to your trauma by poisoning yourself. Judgement and blame are deeply destructive peptides (chemicals) to manufacture and have coursing through your being and your emotional self is being destroyed regardless of whether the blame is directed at self or others – it’s all toxicity.
When you wake up to this … why would you purposefully hate and hurt yourself so much and even pretend that doing this could help you or others?
Years ago, one of my biggest breakthroughs in regard to working out how to recover from narcissistic abuse, came as a result of watching the movie What The Bleep.
Whilst seeing Joe Dispenza on screen for the very first time, I realised something very vital – things about “neuron peptides” and “peptide addiction”. It answered so much to me in regard to why I could not stop thinking about the narcissist and what he had done to me, no matter what I tried.
Since releasing information based on What The Bleep taught me, coupled with how to combat it with Quanta Freedom Healing so many others have been able to heal from “peptide addiction” as well.
The following is parts of this transcript from What The Bleep.
“The brain is made up of tiny brain cells called neurons. These neurons have tiny branches that reach out and connect to other neurons to form a neuronet. Each place where they connect is integrated into a thought or a memory. The brain builds up all its concepts by the law of associative memory. Ideas, thoughts and feelings are all constructed and interconnected within this neuronet. And all have a possible relationship with one another. The concept and the feeling of love, for instance, is stored in this vast neuronet. But we build up the concept of love from many other different ideas. Some people have love connected to disappointment. When they think about love, they experience the memory of pain, sorrow, anger and even rage. Rage may be linked to hurt which may be linked to a specific person which then is connected back to love.
We build up models of how we see the world outside of us. And the more information we have the more we refine our model one way or another. And what we ultimately do is tell ourselves a story about what the outside world is. Any information that we process, that we take in from the environment, is always coloured by the experiences that we’ve had and any emotional response that we’re having about what we’re bringing in.”
“…the hypothalamus assembles chemicals called peptides that match certain emotions. There’s a chemical, or peptide, for every emotion. When we experience an emotion, the hypothalamus releases these peptides into the blood stream and then to the cells in the body. Along the outside of the cells are billions of receptors, which are receivers of incoming information. The peptides sit in these receptors, attaching themselves to the cell, sending it information and changing it in many ways. It sets off a whole cascade of biochemical events, some of which cause changes in the nucleus of the cell. So now your cells are receiving a chemical (an emotion) – a chemical that is addictive.”
“We bring to ourselves situations that will fulfill the biochemical craving of the cells of our body by creating situations that meet our chemical needs.”
“Nerve cells that fire together wire together. If you practice something over and over again those nerve cells have a long-term relationship. If you get angry on a daily basis and give reason for your victimization in your life on a daily basis you are re-wiring and re-integrating that neuronet on a daily basis and that neuronet now has a long-term relationship with all those other nerve cells called an identity.”
So naturally all of this is what is going on inside us.
The peptides that our cells are used to receiving, which naturally in narcissistic abuse is negative emotions, are the chemicals we are addicted to. We are also addicted to going to the co-generator of these emotions, the narcissist, until we break the peptide addiction cycle.
In order to start coming out of our trance of believing that we are powerless and victims and to stop suffering the futility of trying to wrestle with things and people outside of us, we can go Quantum and realise that what we need to change is inside us, and we can only change what is inside us in order to change our life.
If I had stayed hating the ex-narcissist and blaming him for the demise of my life, my soul and my future, would I be living the incredible, glorious, expanded life I do now? Would anyone who is free and empowered and generating a wonderful existence after abuse be able to do so out of a model of “holding someone else responsible for the state of their life?”
The answer is obviously “No”.
I hope you are starting to feel the power of “going Quantum” and what it creates in your Life.
Truly it as wondrous as it is unlimited.
It is the Model for not only our New Selves, but for our New World – and I am excited beyond measure about it!
If you haven’t yet joined in with one of my 3 Keys To Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse Webinars, I want to let you know that this will be our last one for the year.
So if you want to partake in a deep journey of healing and transformation, allowing you to get your Thriver recovery started before the new year, please join us!
Next week, we are going to dive into Part Two, where I will share with you evidence of the most radical Quantum Model of healing I have ever come across, as well as information about Entanglement, The Double Split Experiment, and Holographic Quantum Healing … and more.
Stay tuned!

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