Life is full of unknowns. It’s a universal truth that, despite our best efforts to control and plan, we can never fully predict what tomorrow will bring. In fact, there is something deeply unsettling about the unknown. It evokes fear, anxiety, and doubt. We fear what we cannot see, what we cannot understand. And… it is a fear that we all share.
The realization that all of life is unknowable can either paralyze us or empower us. Once we accept that we will never have all the answers, we unlock the possibility to experience life in an exhilarating and profound manner.
This idea that life is unknowable can feel overwhelming. After all, we are wired to seek certainty, to plan for the future, and to protect ourselves from potential dangers. The very real truth is, that there is no way to guarantee that our marriages will be peaceful, that our children will find perfect happiness, or that our dreams will come to fruition exactly as we imagined. Fearing what could go wrong, obsessing and strategizing toward perfect (or even just preferred) outcomes, will only rob us of happiness.
If the unknown is all there ever is and fear is a choice, it stands to reason that we could choose to see the unknowns of our lives differently.
Uncertainty is, at its core, an invitation to explore and enact curiosity.
What could go right?
What gift could I find in this moment?
What opportunities are here for my growth?
How can I cultivate more trust in the process of my life?
The unknown doesn’t have to be a source of dread; it can be a source of possibility. It could simply be an opportunity to connect more deeply with yourself, with those around you, or with the Creator. Here are a few inspired ways to choose something other than fear when faced with the unknown:
Find Deeper Meaning… Anywhere You Can
We are not passive observers of our lives. We are active participants and co-creators. We are the ones who shape the narrative, who decide what holds meaning and what doesn’t. This is where our agency lies.
For some, the act of creating meaning might be very literal and tangible: a piece of art, of writing, or building something through volunteering or entrepreneurship. For others, it might be through the connection they create in relationships, their own personal growth, or the commitment to spiritual transformation. The point is that we are not waiting for meaning to be handed to us—we are actively engaging in the process of meaning-making which is a surefire way back to trust and certainty.
If You’re Overwhelmed, Start Small
Existential fear often stems from the overwhelming idea of “What if?”—we project possible negative outcomes and get stuck in paralyzing thoughts. A helpful approach is to break the unknown into smaller, manageable steps. Take one “what if?” fear and write down small steps you could take to prevent it and then write down small steps you could take if it were to come to pass.
Here’s an example: What if my marriage doesn’t work out?
Small steps to prevent this fear would be researching couples counseling, having open discussions with your partner, or committing to nurture your relationship in new ways.
Small steps to take if this fear should come to pass would be leaning on your support network of friends and family, reinvesting in yourself through therapy or wellness practices, and being open to the possibility of meeting someone new when the time is right.
Again, this is simply a thought exercise that reminds us we can be curious about the unknown and that it’s always up to us how we respond to life—even if it includes things we wouldn’t want to have happen.
Pause, Breathe, Choose Certainty
One of the keys to overcoming an existential fear—like a fear of the unknown—is to commit to certainty while embracing the process of discovery. I have said many times and will continue to say many times: the process is the purpose. Our lives are a series of moments, both planned and unexpected, that offer us the opportunity to grow, learn, and give.
By creating meaning through our own choices, and by reminding ourselves we have the power to choose how we respond, we can transform our fears into a source of great empowerment. The unknown no longer becomes something to dread but something to explore with curiosity and with trust in the Creator.
The world is filled with unknowns at every turn and we might inevitably find ourselves overwhelmed by social media hot takes and 24-hour news cycles. But we don’t have to be. The next time you find yourself standing on the edge of uncertainty, remember that life is a mystery and will be no matter what structures we put in place.
The unknown is not an enemy—it is your greatest ally in creating the life you want to live and the world you want to see.
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