I replied:
More context? I think rejection is hard for many of us—all of us, not just men.
But when toxic masculinity is founded on winning, being strong…if we buy into that, then we’re incredibly weak and not okay with difficult emotions.
My advice, as a man (no longer dating, but back in the day) get used to it. Practice. You’ll find your person if you focus on getting out there and making friends with yourself, both.
~
To say more: when I dated (I’m newly, finally married), I viewed rejection a bit like baseball. If 1/3 of dates resulted in us liking each other, hitting it off—even if we only became friends, even if there was never a second date…that was fine!
Didn’t make getting rejected fun, but lowering one’s bar of expectations for oneself did make things easier. Look: there’s so many factors that go into two weird, unique people connecting: lived life experiences, values and ethics, mood that day, where you meet, the auspicious coincidence (or lack thereof) of said meeting, game or lack thereof (I never had much, I was just me, charming sometimes, always tried to be genuine, not charming sometimes).
It’s okay to be rejected. The main thing is, if you’re looking for friendship or love, to behave caringly for oneself, and others. The practice of maitri is foundational.
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