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Sometimes it is difficult to see someone
we love struggling, in pain, or hurting. When this happens, we might feel
like we need to be proactive and do something to ease their troubles. While
some may want our help, it is important to keep in mind that we need to be
sensitive to what they truly want at the moment. It can be all too easy to
get carried away and say or do more than is really needed. Allowing
ourselves to let go and simply exist in the present with another person may
actually provide a greater amount of comfort and support than we could ever
imagine.
Perhaps we can think back to a time when
we were upset and needed a kind word, hug, or a listening ear. As we
remember these times, we might think of the gestures of kindness that were
the most healing. It may have been gentle words such as “I care about you,”
or the soothing presence of someone simply holding us that were the most
consoling. When we are able to go back to these times, it becomes easier
for us to remember that giving advice is not always reassuring. What is
truly comforting is for someone to be there for them — instead of someone
trying to fix them or their problems. Should the urge arise to offer advice
or repair a situation, we can take a few deep breaths, let the impulse
pass, and bring our attention back to the present. Even though we may want
to do more, we do not have to do anything other than this to be a good
friend.
The more we are attuned to what our loved
ones are feeling, the more capable we are of truly giving what is best for
them in their hour of need. Keeping things simple helps us give the part of
ourselves that is capable of the greatest amount of compassion — open ears
and an understanding heart.
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