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“The loneliest moment in life is when we feel unseen in a room full of light.” ~ Cheryl Melody Baskin
Even as a young girl, there was a piece of me that quietly stood at the edge of Christmas and its glowing world.
I remember watching the warm lights through frosted windows and wondering what it felt like to belong to that story. It always seemed as if I was invited to a celebration while silently wondering if I was supposed to walk through that door.
I love Christmas, but at the same time, I have always felt as if I was on the outside looking in. I know every lyric, every harmony, every sweet magical moment of each Christmas carol, but the traditions of Christmas are not woven into my cultural DNA.
You see, I wasn’t raised with Christmas as my holiday. Not the tree. Not the stockings. Not Santa checking his list twice.
Because of society’s irrational inclination toward prejudice, I won’t lie to you: even now, it’s difficult to belong to a minority religion. Yet, over the years, it made me stronger and less afraid to carve my own path and stand up for human rights, love, justice, and diversity celebration.
I have grown comfortable—and even proud—to be unique, and I am committed to creating a space where everyone who feels like “the other” is seen and heard.
The Holidays & the Hidden Pain
My story of “otherness” isn’t exclusive. This is the time of year when there are many people who feel the anguish of loneliness even more than usual.
People who…
>> eat dinner alone and ache for conversation.
>> are grieving someone whose absence feels louder and more painful during the holidays.
>> are financially challenged, can’t afford to buy any gifts, and feel ashamed.
>> feel invisible.
>> are weary, overwhelmed, or are quietly unraveling.
>> see the season’s glow but can’t feel its warmth within themselves.
>> carry the heaviness of mental health struggles.
Holiday commercials show perfect families in perfect sweaters and this Norman Rockwell image can pierce the heart of anyone who feels different, behind, or on the outside looking in.
As we go about the busyness of our lives, it’s important to ask ourselves, “Who is standing outside the window this year?”
If we look past the shopping, decorations, Christmas carols, and unrealistic expectations, the holidays are really about offering love, kindness, empathy, compassion, and prayers for peace.
They are about remembering that we all belong to one another.
Acceptance: a Gentle & Hard-Won Light
Inner child healing has come through the lens of self-acceptance—the kind of acceptance that softens my heart rather than shuts it down.
Over the years…
I learned to stop trying to force myself into someone else’s traditions.
I learned to cherish the beauty of Christmas without needing it to be mine.
I learned to honor the light in my own holidays while embracing the light in every tradition.
I learned that my personal religion is love, kindness, deep gratitude, and a healing walk in nature.
I have discovered my own kind of holiness that doesn’t involve rituals or religion. It involves heart-centered gestures …
>> lighting a candle and whispering a prayer for peace.
>> baking something warm and sweet for no reason other than love.
>> writing a note of forgiveness that softens the heart.
>> offering a hug.
>> fully listening to someone as if every word they say matters.
>> noticing those who are standing in the shadows and choosing to bring them light.
That’s what the holidays are about in their purest form—creating light wherever we are, whoever we are, and whatever we celebrate. Every faith and every person’s heart reflects the promise of light.
A Call to Those who Feel on the Margins
If this season makes you feel out of step, unseen, or on the outside looking in, please hear this message with your heart:
You belong. You matter. You are a child of the universe, and you have every right to be here. You are loved and you are the embodiment of love.
Even if you’re alone, create your own gentle rituals. Choose what nourishes you and reach out to someone who may also be standing on the quiet edges, too.
Your warmth and kindness are the bridges that can lift someone from isolation into a sense of belonging.
When we choose self-acceptance and kindness over yearning and jealousy, and when we choose compassion and connection over judgment, we restore the soul of humanity.
We are the Carriers of Light
No matter where you stand this holiday season—at the center, at the edge, or somewhere in between—remember that light isn’t reserved for any one tradition, one holiday, or one kind of family.
Light is something we can all feel and carry, something we can all give, and something we can all become.
In an age where cruelty and kindness walk side-by-side, let’s greet each other with open hearts of love.
I dream of a world in which no one is left standing outside the window looking in. I dream of a world in which every person knows that there is a place for them at the table of humankind.
Dear Reader, I wish you moments of love, peace, and joy and I wish you moments that remind you that you matter, you belong, and you are part of our collective human family.
Because in the end…
“We’re all just walking each other home.” ~ Ram Dass
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