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“I sat at the doctor’s office,” she said. “I had been suffering from sleepless nights, my heart felt as if it was about to jump out of my chest, and I was exhausted.
As he was talking, I realized I already had the answer. I didn’t want prescriptions. I needed to start breathing again.”
My coaching client had been running on constant activation for weeks, months, even years when she told me this.
Modern life as a woman in her 40s asks for full commitment at work, as a mom, as a wife or partner, and for two sets of aging parents. Her nervous system had been locked in fight-or-flight, and she hadn’t noticed until it became unbearable.
Our biology is not designed for 24-hour stress. Chronic pressure, bright screens late at night, endless notifications, and the push to always be “on” hijack the nervous system. Cortisol spikes, sleep fragments, digestion slows, and inflammation rises. We look for quick fixes—supplements, gadgets, prescriptions—when the body often just needs permission to rest.
Stillness is not inactivity. It is a signal to the nervous system that it is safe to shift from survival to repair. It improves digestion, lowers cortisol, stabilizes energy, and supports metabolic balance.
It is medicine we already have, and it costs nothing but attention.
The first time she tried to sit still, it was almost physically impossible. Her mind flitted from unanswered work emails to dinner preparation and the letter her boys’ school had sent.
In our coaching sessions, she had learned to focus on breathing. She practiced the 4-7-8 technique: inhale for four counts, hold for seven, exhale for eight. The long exhale signals the vagus nerve, a key part of the parasympathetic nervous system, to calm the heart rate and relax the body. Even a few rounds help shift from fight-or-flight into a state of rest.
Stillness looks different for everyone. It is not a prescribed meditation or yoga pose, though both can be wonderful. It is any moment where the body is given permission to pause.
It can be sitting with a cup of tea in silence before checking your phone, walking slowly without music, or lying on the floor for five minutes noticing our breath flow. Repeated daily, these micro-moments transform the nervous system and the way we feel in our bodies.
Here is a simple seven-day experiment to cultivate stillness:
>> Day 1: Take one minute of deep breathing before opening your laptop. Notice how the body feels.
>> Day 2: Pause between tasks. Stretch shoulders, unclench jaw, and feel the difference.
>> Day 3: Spend five minutes in silence before bed. No phone, no screens—just breathe.
>> Day 4: Eat one meal without distractions. Notice the texture, taste, and rhythm of each bite.
>> Day 5: Pay attention to natural pauses between breaths, thoughts, and movements throughout the day.
>> Day 6: Replace one scroll on the phone with one quiet look out of the window. Observe.
>> Day 7: Reflect on the week. How did stillness make your body and mind feel?
Stillness is non-negotiable. A return to our own rhythm. It shifts our sleep, digestion, energy, and ability to respond to life rather than react to it. It is not a one-time fix. It is a practice, a conversation with body and mind, a gentle reminder that we are not defined by what we do or produce.
Before the next meeting, the next task, or the next emergency, close your eyes for a moment. Take a deep breath. Notice your belly expanding and releasing.
Start with one micro-moment of stillness today, and observe how, in time, these moments rewire your stress response and restore your vitality.
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