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A Good Life or a Whole Life?
There’s this myth I bought into for way too long:
That a “good” life is a curated one. A tidy one. A high-performing, high-functioning, flawlessly executed life.
You know the vibe—smooth jumps, quick learning, confidence on cue.
Spoiler: That’s not me.
I’m built differently.
Power and speed movements? I freeze.
Sprinting, flipping, twisting through the air like a Cirque du Soleil performer? My nervous system laughs nervously and sits down.
I’m an endurance creature. Emotionally and physiologically. I do better the longer I stay with something, the more I breathe into it, the more I get to become it.
I remember running 100m sprints in school. The first round, I clocked a 16-second jog-with-intent. By the sixth go, I hit 12–13 seconds. Not because I got faster—but because I started to believe I could. My body only moved when my mind let go of fear.
But that’s the point of this whole essay:
A whole life isn’t about being fast. It’s about staying with yourself—even when it’s weird, slow, awkward, or confusing.
The Real Reason I Share This
Some of my trauma was formed through emotional and physical abuse. I didn’t grow up with the belief that I was capable, safe, or supported. So now, as an adult, when someone hands me the keys to a go-kart or suggests an electric scooter? I freeze.
Yes—me. I’ve taught yoga to thousands. I film content upside-down.
And yet, I’ll choose a bicycle over an e-scooter just because my brain won’t shut up about all the ways it could go wrong.
I used to be ashamed of this.
Now, I just say it plainly:
I get in my own way sometimes.
And that’s okay. Because I know I’m not the only one.
So, what do you do when your fear is louder than your faith?
Here’s the truth:
Healing isn’t about removing every block. It’s about building better relationships with the blocks you’ve got.
Here are 5 things that are helping me live a whole life—even if it’s not always a “high-performing” one:
1. Name it without shame.
The more we call something what it is, the less power it has.
“I feel scared of momentum.”
“I don’t trust my body yet.”
That’s truth. Not failure.
2. Practice slow exposure.
No one goes from fear to freedom in one leap.
So maybe I don’t go-kart—but I take a scooter down a quiet path next week.
Maybe you don’t lift the heaviest weight—but you show up at the gym for 20 minutes.
3. Find tools that talk back when your brain spirals.
This is where ChatGPT* surprised me.
When I couldn’t find answers from doctors or felt overwhelmed by functional health plans that were too much too fast, I started using this app to think with me, not at me.
I’d ask things like, “Why do I freeze during movement?” or “Can you help me plan a realistic nervous system routine?”—and I got clarity, compassion, and science. All at once.
Not a cure-all, but a damn helpful mirror.
4. Laugh at the weirdness.
I cried once trying to ride a Vespa.
Then I laughed for days.
Being human is hilarious. Let it be.
5. Stop waiting to be “fixed” before you live.
If I only filmed yoga content on days I felt 100% confident, I’d never post.
If I waited to heal everything before dating, moving, or creating…I’d still be stuck in year one of “trying to figure it all out.”
A Whole Life Isn’t a Perfect Life
It’s you, showing up—unpolished, mid-sentence, work-in-progress.
It’s the girl who still struggles with trust…riding her bike next to her scooter-riding friends.
It’s the yoga teacher who still panics on wheels but anchors people through breath.
It’s the parent who doesn’t always get it right, but loves their kid like crazy.
A whole life is built in those “off-camera” moments.
Not staged. Not sanitized.
But seen. Felt. Lived.
We don’t have to be faster.
We just have to keep walking—together.
~
*Editor’s Note: Elephant does not support the use of AI, casually or professionally, without ethical guidelines around it. 350+ AI experts called it a threat to the human species and our planet on the order of nuclear war—an existential threat. Not sure why? Rewatch Terminator 2; or think about drones + weapons + facial recognition + AI; or simply AI + faked news coverage + war or politics or lying about people we know and care about. AI is not a fun simple innocent tool. We are the guinea pigs, and short-sighted tech barons are the overlords here. ~ Waylon, founder of Elephant
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