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We encounter a wide
variety of people throughout our lives. Many of them touch us in some
positive way. Occasionally, however, we encounter those individuals who
can be difficult to deal with. Perhaps this person is a colleague or
close friend that you feel is being deliberately obtuse, inviting
trouble, or doing foolish things that annoy you. Sometimes, it may be
possible to appease or avoid those people short term. Dealing with them
in the long term, however, can be exhausting. The behavior of difficult
people can even make you feel like losing your temper, but keep your
cool. Staying calm is the first step, especially when you are ready to
confront them.
Avoiding a difficult
person can prove impossible and is not in your best interest,
especially if you live or work together. Likewise, attempts to steer
clear of them can become a source of stress and anxiety when they are a
part of your social circle. When this is the case, it is best to kindly
address the problem. Try not to let their actions or mood affect you.
You also may want to try expressing your feelings directly. Tell the
person how their actions make you feel, and encourage them toward a
more positive course of action. Speak assertively, but respectfully,
and don’t portray yourself as a victim. Another approach for dealing
with a difficult individual is to gain a deeper understanding of who
that person is. Ask them why they do or say certain things. If you
disagree with their motives, question them further, so you can try and
discover the root of their behaviors. In doing so, you may be able to
gently shift their perceptions or at least help them understand your
point of view.
You may want to think
about what you want to say to a difficult person before you actually
talk to them. If you can, avoid being judgmental or defensive, and try
to approach the conversation objectively. If the person is open to the
idea, try coming to an agreement. If approaching them fails, let it go
and move on. There is no reason to let a difficult person or situation
have power over your state of being. Remember that a lot can be
accomplished when you take the time to listen and offer up alternative
perspectives.
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